Go Away From My Window

I have a problem.
A problem to cut loose.I cut but I also lose.A good part of me and myself.
I am tired of that.
I am tired of attachments .
It wreaks havoc in my mind when it starts to fray.And when it eventually tears, I find myself in this godforsaken vacuum.
It irks me to think the space it took up to leave behind a vacuum that big.

“Clouds,Illusions I recall”…I really don’t know people at all.
All my life, it has been the same story.
I misread people.
I think for the longest time they are what they are until I become emotionally attached.
I depend on them. For the good times and the bad.
With time,I have cut down on expectations.Yes,I probably am a slow learner,but I adapt and account for historic evidences.
But then,like an inevitable eventuality,it happens.
One small little thing, that changes my whole perception of a being.

And I am sick of it.
Sick to my guts to see friends become strangers.
It takes me a long time to heal.
In some cases I don’t.
And I could do with fewer wounds.

Someone once told me,after I ended things,that I was emotionally unavailable.
I thank him.
My mistake was that I was not.I need to be.For some time now lest a gangrene sets in.

New Year’s resolution you ask?
Emotionally unavailable. Indefinitely.
Don’t care to knock.

Roots

There was a place I did not call home,
Where with masks on and swords drawn people did roam,
Where living was an acclivity,
A fight to preserve sanity.
And the eyes did search for the green,green grass home.

Yet this brokedown palace of sorts
Became my saviour of last resorts.
The sky was mine,the trees too,
The roads and faces I belonged to,
For I no longer needed a mirror to find myself there.

As I came back to my roots,
Yet a part of me it did uproot.
For while your roots grow deeper,
Your branches expand,
Like a banyan tree it doth stand.

Home is where the heart is,they say.
But what if your heart was in more places than one?
Would bliss be amiss,I wonder,
would you come undone?
Or would fragments of you be brought together as one?